computer not playing the game - click here for pix!

And if you thought I’m talking about the inflatable babe I keep under my bed, you’re so last season, dude! Contrary to popular belief, I’ve realised there is an undeniably romantic heart booming away beneath the rugged exterior of this 56kg weakling. So no more crude jokes, right? It’s Valentine’s Day after all, and if I have to resort to the guise of a sensitive metro-sexual for the next 24 hours in order to score with the chicks … sorry, independent, free-spirited females … damn the torpedoes, and turn on the schmooze. But be clever here … if you really want to make the hearts of all those outdoor girls and guys pump custard, the way to go is not a bunch of carnations. Rather go way left-field when it comes to gifts, and invest in Outsider Gear. This way, you sneakily get them into the Great Outdoors, you get their heart rate up, you get the blood pumping and, before you know it, you’re so into the scoring zone! But if you need ideas, I’m the worst guy to consult – rather check out www.duesouth.co.za

Hallo friends, my name is Snorat! I am new adventure boykie in South-of-Africa, and you can tell apart my face because of proud nose-beard shaped like tail of swamp mongoose. Is very sexy, yes? Sport of adventure is massive big also in my country Crapikistan, especially in bedroom, and me and Girl Cousin Takitoff is national champion in game of Spanky-Bottom. I can explain rules later. Right now, yes, we are excitemented to learn more of these hard core adventures in country of Africa. It is true that this multi-race sport of the XXX-terra is very dirty? Also that boys and girls play in mud in little clothings? Thoughts of this make already my pants very tight, so Girl Cousin Takitoff and me, your friend Snorat, will come for investigation of some events. Also maybe to make video-movie of action of adults playing. So I say, if you see man in tight, red racing Speedo at any of list of sport-multi races below, say ‘Hallo’! We love to meet you, and maybe to teach you too the rules of wonderful game of Spanky-Bottom. *Note from NDORFIN Engine Room: ‘This guy is a freaking loony. If you should see him at any of the adventure events, please contact Manto at the Ministry of Mental Health immediately.

We’ve gone to great heights to bring you this month’s Caption Comp. In fact, I had to follow Trevor ‘Hang’ Ball all the way to the top of Kamikaze Kanyon to get this pic, and let me tell you - those potholes become extremely crowded! You might not get the chance to cuddle up to a whole bunch of sexy Outsiders today, but you can snap up a Gift Voucher to the value of R1000 from Duesouth All you have to do is write a caption for the image above, telling us what Bandanna Girl is thinking. And if you can work the Valentine’s theme into it, all the better! We will announce the winner on www.ndorfin.co.za by mid-March. And that, muchachos, is about as good as it gets for now. Enjoy the rollicking ride that 2008 promises to be, and keep those brave hearts pumping. We’ll see you at the races, probably with Snorat and Girl Cousin Takitoff in tow. Sayonara for now!